God help us -- the Red Clad Loon has written a book. 
Forever Red: Confessions of a Cornhusker 
Football Fan was released by the University 
of Nebraska Press in July 2005. Go here to read the
promotional hullabaloo about the project, and then go here 
to reserve your copy. If you want to. If not, we understand;
we're sort of an acquired taste.

Originally published in May 2001

As she sent me off to college oh so many years ago, Mother Loon gave me three nuggets of advice: (1) Never, ever, let your friends drive your car, especially if they've been putting back shots of Cuervo; (2) Always practice safe sex, even if the Cuervo makes you think you're in love; and (3) Just because it's red and has an big fat Husker-N on it doesn't mean you have to buy it. The first two nuggets have come in handy more than their fair share, but you know, I bet I use that third piece of advice on a daily basis around here.

Take a walk into the Nebraska Bookstore sometime. See how big that place is? How do you think it got that way? It's because Cornhusker fans, many of whom struggle to feed their family on a daily basis, can't resist buying all the outlandishly priced Husker-related junk in that place, and establishments like them. But just because it's Husker-related, doesn't mean it's good. In fact, I'd venture a guess that 85.2 percent of all Huskerphernalia is either ugly, extraneous or just downright stupid.

Of all those items that end up on -- and inevitably fly off of -- the shelves in the Husker Nation, these 10 stand out as the biggest mistakes. I don't know if the people who came up with these items were the offspring of siblings, or if the University of Nebraska-Lincoln simply doesn't bother to check if lots of the merchandise that bears its likeness sucks. All I know is that these 10 items are about as cool as swallowing a bag of fish-flavored glass shards.

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