THE BUGMUNCH -- Nation/World
All of Huskers' problems identified
between couch, refrigerator
MIDWEST CITY, Okla. -- According to family members, Len Diers, 47, was able to identify every single problem beleaguering the Nebraska football program as he walked from his couch to his refrigerator last fall.
"Len's a big Husker fan, and he watches every Nebraska game that's on TV," his wife, Linda, said. "It was really disheartening to see the team continue to lose as the season went on, particularly after Len had told us exactly what was wrong with them when he got up for a beer during the very first game of the year."
Diers, who always has a fresh 12-pack of Miller Lite in his refrigerator on fall football Saturdays, wore out a path from the living room to the kitchen in 2002, Nebraska's worst season in 41 years. As is the custom in most sports-watching households, it is along this pathway where the male head of the household regularly announces to the rest of his family what is wrong with his favorite football team.
"We were sitting there watching them play Arizona State on ESPN last August, and it was something like 10-3 going into halftime," Linda Diers said. "You know, a little too close for comfort. I said, 'boy, they sure aren't scoring as many points in games as they did last year, are they, honey?"
Len Diers, who moved to Midwest City in 1979 from Beatrice, reportedly growled at his wife's analysis. Then he got up from the sofa, walked out of the living room and headed toward the kitchen.
"It's the goddamned offensive line," Len Diers bellowed from the kitchen as he opened the fridge and extracted a bottle of beer. "They aren't picking up the weakside blitz. And the fullback isn't blocking worth a toot, either. God, I wish they'd quit playing 10 on 11 and find someone other than Davies to play that spot. Hey, did I leave the bottle opener in there?"
NU's offensive ineptness was often discussed by Diers during his short trips to and from his fridge throughout the 2002 season, which saw the Cornhuskers slouch to 7-7 and fall out of the national rankings. During the first half of Nebraska's 36-14 loss at Iowa State on Sept. 28, Diers was approximately seven steps from his icebox when he correctly diagnosed NU's problem: "Those sunsabitches are totally blowing our offensive line off the ball. Christ, we're getting manhandled in the trenches."
In an related story, a 50-year-old Husker fan in Des Moines, Iowa, made an announcement to his family as he walked from his Broyhill sofa and his Frigidaire refrigerator last October that the defense was the real problem with this team. That, and a lack of motivation, probably.