THE BUGMUNCH -- National News
Man shocked to learn that there are
actually lots of places like Nebraska
MADISON, Wis. -- Lifelong York resident Perry Jensen was shocked to learn that there are, in fact, lots of places like Nebraska, sources close to the 37-year-old drywall specialist said this week.
Jensen said he made the stunning discovery Saturday in Madison, Wis., as he helped his sister move to the Dairy State's capital city for a job. Jensen's trip coincided with the University of Wisconsin's spring football game at Camp Randall Stadium, which led him to realize that contrary to his lifelong belief, Nebraska and its game-day traditions are not uniquely special.
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"It was uncanny, man," Jensen told friend Randy Upjohn via telephone Sunday. "Here I was, standing among thousands upon thousands of white people dressed in red and white who were making their way to the stadium to watch the game. Some of them had on red-and-white striped overalls, and a few wore these yellow, food-shaped, foam-rubber headpieces, too."
"I even saw one guy walk by with a shirt on it that said, 'Go Big Red.' Dude, the fight song has been lying to us for all these years -- there are other places like Nebraska."
Jensen told Upjohn of walking along Madison's flavor-filled State Street, which lies in the catchment area around the UW campus, where he found even more evidence to support his suspicions.
"It's like, the dividing line between campus and downtown is really hard to distinguish, just like in Lincoln," he said. "And before the game, the band likes to do this little pregame concert before marching to the stadium while playing the school song, just like in Lincoln. And -- here's the amazing thing -- the town is named after a dead president, just like in Lincoln."
Jensen said he eventually wandered into a downtown Madison bar named Duffy's, and inquired with red-clad patrons there about other Badger traditions. They mentioned tailgating, drinking, chanting, and watching the school's marching band play after the game is over. He concluded grimly that all of it bore a striking resemblance to what happens on football Saturdays in Lincoln.
"You know what they said?" Jensen told Upjohn. "After a touchdown, they stand and clap to their school song, 'Varsity.' Dude, we stand and clap to our school song, 'Hail Varsity, after a touchdown.' Isn't that weird?"
He said he also learned Badger fans believe that the national media is biased against their school. They cited examples such as news reports during the 1994 season, when star running back Brent Moss was released from the team following a drug scandal, as proof the national media has it out for Wisconsin.
"They said bad stuff happens at every school, but you didn't see those other schools in the negative headlines because none of them were defending Rose Bowl champs," Jensen said. "Personally, I thought they were a little oversensitive about the whole media bias thing."
As his conversation with bargoers continued, Jensen said he also discovered that of the 117 Division I-A schools, 117 have fans who dress in the school colors, partake in pre-game festivities and enjoy game-day stadium rituals. And from what he could ascertain, supporters of each school, basically inert by nature, all think their place of origin is superior mainly because they're used to it.
"It was absolutely mind-blowing, man," Jensen said. Before hanging up, he told Upjohn he needed some time to "absorb all of this" while driving back to York, and that he was looking forward to resting for the evening in Iowa City.
